RHIAN SUGDEN: BLONDE BOMBSHELL
STUNNING BODY, A-Z TO CHRISTMAS
12 PAGES WITH NAKED EROTIC PHOTO SHOOT
COURTNIE Q: TOPLESS 20 YEAR OLD NEW MODEL
10 BUSTY, TOPLESS PAGES WITH INTERVIEW
PAULA GARCES, 37 YEAR OLD STUNNER
4 PAGE GLAMOUR SHOOT - COLOMBIA'S FINEST EXPORT
JODIE MARSH: INTERVIEW - (NO PHOTO-SHOOT)
FIGHT THE HANGOVER
SEX FAILS: SPECIAL
CHRISTOPHER SAMBA: FASHION
MASS EFFECT 3
IN THIS ISSUE OF LOADED UK:
Badgers, lucky pants and Rhian wrapped in fairy lights. Celebrate Xmas the loaded way
"IT'S CHRISTMAAAAAAS!" shouted fluffy-haired Slade warbler Noddy Holder back in '73. Oh, and every God forsaken year since. But forget your turkeys and your wise men, this December is all about the eye-achingly incredible issue of your favourite men's magazine - loaded 214. Still not sold? Well check out what we have in store for you dear sirs....
RHIAN SUGDEN: JINGLE BELLE
From the Queen's Speech to Plastic Crap via bastard Wrapping and pervy Uncles, allow our Angel Of The North Rhian Sugden to guide you through the socially surreal experience that we call Christmas. Complete with our Rhian smoking cigars, clad in angel wings and spilling a lot of vodka down herself. We approve.
ANYONE FOR BADGER?
We've had enough of turkey. Seriously, every year with that same bone-dry, bastard bird. So instead, loaded took to the roadside to hunt our very own organic harvest - in the shape of a badger, fox and massacred deer. Along with a beardy bloke who eats nothing but roadkill, our lunch went from lay-by to plate in under an hour. How'd it all taste? Well that'd be telling. All we'll say is that we did it for you...
HOW NOT TO BED A LADY
Let's face it, since the dawn of time, mankind has been magnificently crap at getting laid. Sure, we've all had a stroke of luck here or there, but for the most part, our endeavours can come under one umbrella - FAIL. Ever snapped a picture of your erect, ugly penis to a lady? Donned the 'lucky pants' you've owned since '98? Smeared a lass with enough chocolate mousse to make her look a giant turd? We have. And we reckon you might've done too. So let's rejoice in the humble art of the sex fail.
Life at Man City hasn't always been prawn sandwiches and probable league domination. Oh no. Let Shaun Goater and Nicky Weaver take you back to 1998, when City were in the basement of Division 2, and little Mario Balotelli was eight-years-old. Looking at their role as a third-tier laughing stock that would see players warm up in a school gym to avoid abuse from fans - Super Mario and co don't even know they're born. Quite literally.
"I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE A PROFESSIONAL W**KER"
Meet Jason Manford. You know him, right? The man who had it all - captain on 8 Out Of 10 Cats and host of The One Show, before getting a bit too friendly with some girls on Twitter and disappearing into the wilderness with a big red face. Well he's back, and he's talking to loaded about everything from service station pies, nicking his dad blue movies and that incident. A corker.
Want more? Well that's lucky, as we're offering £20 off your favourite clothing brands, from Fred Perry to Pretty Green, raising the curtain on the Xmas Booze World Cup, and saluting the bonkers world of local newspapers (including such amazing headlines as "Owl man told to hide hooters" and "Whitstable mum in custard shortage). Amazing.
ALSO, we chat to Blackburn stopper Christopher Samba about gunning for Champions League glory (yes, we know he plays for Blackburn), and unearth the best thing you could ever put in your car. Nope, not seat warmers or sat-nav, a 20-year-old Plymouth lass called Courtnie Q. Consider it an early Xmas present, you won't be disappointed.
Loaded Jan 2012 Paula Garcés Rhian Sugden Courtnie Q Jodie Marsh
Mint Condition - never read like new inside but milder scuffle to cover.
All items sent in bubble protected envelopes for maximum protection. Often with card backing for overseas sales.